But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
