Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
