i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
