Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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