Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
