yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
