So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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