I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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