Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize