My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
