Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
