I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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