You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
