forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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