I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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