You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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