I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
