tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
