I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
