Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
