It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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