I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
