I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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