I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
