That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
This house was built for laser tag.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize