Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
