I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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