Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
