Taylor Swift is so right about you.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
