My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
