this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
