the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize