come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
