just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
