Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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