I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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