i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
