So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
