Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
