The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
