fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
When are your genitals available?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
