Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
