I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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