Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
