is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
How external is "for external use only"?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
