How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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