You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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