This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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