It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
