you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
my liver is dry heaving
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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