this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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