I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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