I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Ketchup is God's man juice
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
