apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Hippo gnu deer
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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