Who wears a wallet chain?!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
