he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she looked like the before picture.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
