I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
