he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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