Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
