Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just googled if crying burns calories
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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